Sunday, April 26, 2009
April so far in photos...
Photos: Some photos from our goodbye dinner and Madeline with her parents in the Biergarten!
Transitions
The past week has been pretty hectic. Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, I not only had finals for my FU-BEST semester, I also had my first week of classes for my new semester on the actual FU. Wednesday night I celebrated with a dinner with my host family at their house, Thursday night we had our goodbye dinner for the program, and Friday night was our goodbye party. I'm pretty sure my new roommates think I'm either dead or completely crazy, because I've seen like twice since I moved in.. Whoops.
Tests were difficult, but predictable. New classes are always interesting. I'm taking one on American Foreign and Security Policy- but in German, and another on Peace and Conflict. Those are both in addition to two German language classes. It has been a bit hard to motivate myself to want to go to class, even though I love the material, because for the first time in my life, I live somewhere with good weather! Seattle winters with Juneau summers are not the best environment to work on a tan, but certainly conducive to good study habits! Today was over 70 degrees and I spent my Sunday biking through downtown, flee marketing, reading in a park, enjoying coffee Kreuzburg, and grilling with some friends.
(this next part was written a few hours later, and there is a noticeable change in tone)
The other reason it's been hard to motivate myself is that for many of the friends I've made in Germany, they've already started their summer. Only ten of the sixty students are staying for the summer semester, so I'm having to say good bye, once more, to people. Their presence is like a blip on my life, over as fast as it's come. I know that we keep in touch with the ones we care about the most, and seeing as though I'm still good friends with people I lived in Bremen with, I don't worry about losing touch, but there is something very difficult to let go of when these people have experienced this unexplainable time with me- a time of growth, of reflection, of community.
I had a few friends over the other night and as we ate red curry by candlelight, we began discussing our time in college and in Berlin and lessons we've learned from both. Each have taught me different, but equally valuable, things and have implanted seeds or intellectual, emotional, and academic growth. However, even after multiple study abroads, 3/4 of a Jesuit education, and a fantastic home life, I find myself as this point still very frustrated and unfulfilled. Frustrated with myself, mostly, but also with my environment, my friends, my communities. Disappointed by unfulfilled expectations. It was only upon this realization that I realized how many bitter and negative feelings I have been harboring. Against others, against myself. My negativity, and the insecurities from which much of it springs, has hindered friendships and relationships, has kept me from expanding healthy boundaries and allowing others in.
I don't want to overly analyze what I'm feeling or set a list of goals, because knowing my perfectionist and competitive nature, I think it would be conter- productive. I just wanted to put these feelings down on paper (or at least virtually) and be vulnerable with my online community. I appreciate the fact that you have taken the time out of your day to read this.
in peace and love,
Tess
Tests were difficult, but predictable. New classes are always interesting. I'm taking one on American Foreign and Security Policy- but in German, and another on Peace and Conflict. Those are both in addition to two German language classes. It has been a bit hard to motivate myself to want to go to class, even though I love the material, because for the first time in my life, I live somewhere with good weather! Seattle winters with Juneau summers are not the best environment to work on a tan, but certainly conducive to good study habits! Today was over 70 degrees and I spent my Sunday biking through downtown, flee marketing, reading in a park, enjoying coffee Kreuzburg, and grilling with some friends.
(this next part was written a few hours later, and there is a noticeable change in tone)
The other reason it's been hard to motivate myself is that for many of the friends I've made in Germany, they've already started their summer. Only ten of the sixty students are staying for the summer semester, so I'm having to say good bye, once more, to people. Their presence is like a blip on my life, over as fast as it's come. I know that we keep in touch with the ones we care about the most, and seeing as though I'm still good friends with people I lived in Bremen with, I don't worry about losing touch, but there is something very difficult to let go of when these people have experienced this unexplainable time with me- a time of growth, of reflection, of community.
I had a few friends over the other night and as we ate red curry by candlelight, we began discussing our time in college and in Berlin and lessons we've learned from both. Each have taught me different, but equally valuable, things and have implanted seeds or intellectual, emotional, and academic growth. However, even after multiple study abroads, 3/4 of a Jesuit education, and a fantastic home life, I find myself as this point still very frustrated and unfulfilled. Frustrated with myself, mostly, but also with my environment, my friends, my communities. Disappointed by unfulfilled expectations. It was only upon this realization that I realized how many bitter and negative feelings I have been harboring. Against others, against myself. My negativity, and the insecurities from which much of it springs, has hindered friendships and relationships, has kept me from expanding healthy boundaries and allowing others in.
I don't want to overly analyze what I'm feeling or set a list of goals, because knowing my perfectionist and competitive nature, I think it would be conter- productive. I just wanted to put these feelings down on paper (or at least virtually) and be vulnerable with my online community. I appreciate the fact that you have taken the time out of your day to read this.
in peace and love,
Tess
Monday, April 20, 2009
Moving and Summer school
Hello!
I am incredibly sorry that it has taken me over two weeks to post a new entry- as a said before, I’ve been moving, taking finals, and saying goodbye to friends. None of those tasks have been finished yet, but I have a few minutes, so I thought I’d write an update.
I’ve moved! I now live in South Wedding/North Tiergarten, which is in North-West Berlin. It’s still about a half hour trip to school every morning, but really makes a difference when I want to hang out downtown- I’m already there! My roommates Jens (37) and Friedericke (25) are very nice, but I haven’t had much time to enjoy my new place. Since moving in, I have had to really buckle down to get ready for finals. We had out German final last Thursday, which I think I did quite well on, and have my content course finals on Tuesday and Wednesday!
The only thing is, this week is also the first week of my Summer Semester! Sooo in addition to studying for finals and getting ready to say goodbye to most of the friends I’ve made this past four months, I have class Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday at the real university, with real students! Ach! I’m taking a German language class about current politics and culture, a language class to improve my vocabulary, a class in English entitled Peace and Conflict and then one or two classes in German, one about American foreign and security policy and the other about Democracy in post-war democracies. I’ll be honest, I’m incredibly intimidated- especially by my classes in German, with Germans, but thankfully I haven’t had any time to dwell on any feelings of self-doubt.
Another reason I’ve been a bit busy is that I started working a bit. Not a real job by any means, but I have begun babysitting at least once a week for my German teacher. I really like her and her family is adorable, so I certainly don’t mind going by a few mornings, maybe one night a week and watching over her three kids. As I was putting her 7 year old to bed last night, she asked me to sing to her. Having never learned any German lullabies (pretty sure silent night in inappropriate in April), I asked her if I could sing in English. She said no and tried to teach me a lullaby- It was basically Sleep, baby, sleep, which I’m not entirely sure I could sing in English anymore, but was even harder trying to learn from a whispering 7 year old. Eventually, she was like, eh. You’ve done enough. You can leave now… hhaha. Will have to study up for that one!
I also wanted to put a few poems that I wrote up here. They were both assignments for my German language class, but I figure that you will mostly be impressed- simply because they’re in German. ☺ I’m ok with that!
I will get those up in the next few days! Until then, I hope this finds you in good health (unlike myself- I have the black plague) and enjoying the sunshine!
Love,
Tess
I am incredibly sorry that it has taken me over two weeks to post a new entry- as a said before, I’ve been moving, taking finals, and saying goodbye to friends. None of those tasks have been finished yet, but I have a few minutes, so I thought I’d write an update.
I’ve moved! I now live in South Wedding/North Tiergarten, which is in North-West Berlin. It’s still about a half hour trip to school every morning, but really makes a difference when I want to hang out downtown- I’m already there! My roommates Jens (37) and Friedericke (25) are very nice, but I haven’t had much time to enjoy my new place. Since moving in, I have had to really buckle down to get ready for finals. We had out German final last Thursday, which I think I did quite well on, and have my content course finals on Tuesday and Wednesday!
The only thing is, this week is also the first week of my Summer Semester! Sooo in addition to studying for finals and getting ready to say goodbye to most of the friends I’ve made this past four months, I have class Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday at the real university, with real students! Ach! I’m taking a German language class about current politics and culture, a language class to improve my vocabulary, a class in English entitled Peace and Conflict and then one or two classes in German, one about American foreign and security policy and the other about Democracy in post-war democracies. I’ll be honest, I’m incredibly intimidated- especially by my classes in German, with Germans, but thankfully I haven’t had any time to dwell on any feelings of self-doubt.
Another reason I’ve been a bit busy is that I started working a bit. Not a real job by any means, but I have begun babysitting at least once a week for my German teacher. I really like her and her family is adorable, so I certainly don’t mind going by a few mornings, maybe one night a week and watching over her three kids. As I was putting her 7 year old to bed last night, she asked me to sing to her. Having never learned any German lullabies (pretty sure silent night in inappropriate in April), I asked her if I could sing in English. She said no and tried to teach me a lullaby- It was basically Sleep, baby, sleep, which I’m not entirely sure I could sing in English anymore, but was even harder trying to learn from a whispering 7 year old. Eventually, she was like, eh. You’ve done enough. You can leave now… hhaha. Will have to study up for that one!
I also wanted to put a few poems that I wrote up here. They were both assignments for my German language class, but I figure that you will mostly be impressed- simply because they’re in German. ☺ I’m ok with that!
I will get those up in the next few days! Until then, I hope this finds you in good health (unlike myself- I have the black plague) and enjoying the sunshine!
Love,
Tess
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Paris and Amsterdam in photos
Ryan and I in front of Versailles!
The Hall of Mirrors! Versailles
MMMM! Crepes in Paris!
Notre Dame!
Parisian Markets!
Madeline and our Quinoa burger.. ohhh soo good.
Sonya..
The thinnest house in Amsterdam
My "host siblings", Marie and Phillip, and I in Amsterdam. Doing very serious "family portraits"
The Hall of Mirrors! Versailles
MMMM! Crepes in Paris!
Notre Dame!
Parisian Markets!
Madeline and our Quinoa burger.. ohhh soo good.
Sonya..
The thinnest house in Amsterdam
My "host siblings", Marie and Phillip, and I in Amsterdam. Doing very serious "family portraits"
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Paris and Amsterdam (in brief)
Bonjour and however you say hello in Dutch!
I am have returned from our week long trip to Paris and Amsterdam! Our entire troop of 60 students went, so although it was so much fun, I have enjoyed the past few days of alone time!
I thought I'd just jot down some highlights and musts of both cities, so you don't have to hear about each of the thrift stores I visited in Paris.
PARIS:
1. the D'Orsay:
On my parents recommendation, I skipped the Louve and went to the D'Orsay instead. How well my parents know me. Although I missed out on the Mona Lisa, the D'Orsay includes mostly Impressionist artists, my favorites, and I loved spending a few hours wandering through the works of Monet, van Gogh, Manet and many others. The architecture of the building is even neat to look at, as it used to be a train station, so has a giant clock under its rounded ceilings. Very cool, both inside and out.
2. Le Potager du Marais:
This cute little organic restaurant has convinced me to be a vegetarian. Sonya, Madeline and I spent out last night in Paris here, enjoying the best food I think I've ever eaten. The high that we got from it was like that Johnny Depp film, Chocolat. No wine needed, we were giddy from delicious food and company. We first had a celery and curry soup, and then split three man dishes- all vegetarian- each better than the last. It's amazing what some people (namely not me) can do, even without butter (my favorite ingredient) or meat. mmmmm. I'm salivating just thinking about it. :)
3. Palais de Tokyo:
This was a cool contemporary art gallery near the Eiffel Tower. Their small, but fascinating exhibitions were interactive and are ever changing. One of them just made a huge noise every once in a while. The placard by it said that it represents how tension rises after something happens, not before.. it's true, we were definitely one edge only after the first time it started screaming at us!
4. This one specific pastry shop:
Sonya found this adorable little shop where she, madeline, and I got tortes. Sonya got a pistachio and peace one, madeline and chocolate and raspberry and i got one with chocolate chips.. mmmm..
In Paris, we stayed in the Montmatre quarter, which is what i only assume is the African part of town. The street we took from the Metro stop to our Hotel was literally only hair salons and women getting weaves.. I only wonder what they could do with my hair!
AMSTERDAM
1. New Amsterdam Free Tour
These free tours are fantastic. I've done two here in Berlin and this was my third and you just learn so much more than you ever possible could from anyone else. The guides are young and hip and make the history and culture sound much more interesting than it probably really is. Highlights on the tour: Origins of Dutch-East Indies Trading Co, the "Golden Age", Rembrant, the old Jewish Quarter, hidden Catholic Church, thinnest house in Amsterdam, bikes in Canals, and why pot is legal (decriminalized). Soo neat- I was taking notes the whole time- I'm slowing, but surely turning into Jamie McLean, and half way through the guide asked if I was studying to be a tour guide. :)
2. Meeting up with Phillip and Marie:
Phillip and Marie are the grown children of my host parents. 28 and 24, respectively, they both are studying in Amsterdam. I had met them once before over their spring break when they came to Berlin, but it was great to see them again. Because I have decided that I am now part of their family, we had a great time taking "family portraits" (I'll post one) and talking about "our parents".
3. THE PEOPLE:
everyone in Amsterdam was so incredibly nice. As Regina Spektor sings about it, "Might have been all the tulips and the canals/ or it may have been all that hash". I like to think that it's not just the weed that makes the Dutch so friendly, but with the tulips and the canals, they could not have been nicer. Certainly a nice change from the French.
I hope I provided enough of an outline for you to see what my past week and half has been like! Spring has arrived now in Berin (thank god!) and today I rode my bike for two hours wearing just a sundress- I even went barefoot! I'm so not German in many respects!
Personally, I'm still doing great. I can move into my new apartment any day now, but haven't started packing and am enjoying my last time here with my host parents. Besides the inconvenience of living so darn far away from the city center, I have loved living with Heide and Siggi and will miss them when I go.
Tomorrow night I have invited over a few friends and am making SALMON for everyone. A little shout out to all my Alaskan friends. We'll see if I can get close to how my parents do it.. Yum Yum!
I am really happy here. I know that it is partially the nice weather starting to emerge from the clouds, but I feel more at home here than I have for a while in Alaska or have ever felt in Seattle. I already dread leaving in five months. I miss certain things about both of the cities I call home stateside, but here, I feel intellectually, personally, and spiritually challenged every day. Although I've always been independent, this is the first time I have entered a situation completely alone and without a community or old friends to fall back on. I love and cherish my family and friends in Juneau and the sullivan community at SU (my other family), but this has been nice. Freeing, and nice.
I'll let you go. Hope everyone has a blessed Easter this coming Sunday!
Love love love,
Tess
I am have returned from our week long trip to Paris and Amsterdam! Our entire troop of 60 students went, so although it was so much fun, I have enjoyed the past few days of alone time!
I thought I'd just jot down some highlights and musts of both cities, so you don't have to hear about each of the thrift stores I visited in Paris.
PARIS:
1. the D'Orsay:
On my parents recommendation, I skipped the Louve and went to the D'Orsay instead. How well my parents know me. Although I missed out on the Mona Lisa, the D'Orsay includes mostly Impressionist artists, my favorites, and I loved spending a few hours wandering through the works of Monet, van Gogh, Manet and many others. The architecture of the building is even neat to look at, as it used to be a train station, so has a giant clock under its rounded ceilings. Very cool, both inside and out.
2. Le Potager du Marais:
This cute little organic restaurant has convinced me to be a vegetarian. Sonya, Madeline and I spent out last night in Paris here, enjoying the best food I think I've ever eaten. The high that we got from it was like that Johnny Depp film, Chocolat. No wine needed, we were giddy from delicious food and company. We first had a celery and curry soup, and then split three man dishes- all vegetarian- each better than the last. It's amazing what some people (namely not me) can do, even without butter (my favorite ingredient) or meat. mmmmm. I'm salivating just thinking about it. :)
3. Palais de Tokyo:
This was a cool contemporary art gallery near the Eiffel Tower. Their small, but fascinating exhibitions were interactive and are ever changing. One of them just made a huge noise every once in a while. The placard by it said that it represents how tension rises after something happens, not before.. it's true, we were definitely one edge only after the first time it started screaming at us!
4. This one specific pastry shop:
Sonya found this adorable little shop where she, madeline, and I got tortes. Sonya got a pistachio and peace one, madeline and chocolate and raspberry and i got one with chocolate chips.. mmmm..
In Paris, we stayed in the Montmatre quarter, which is what i only assume is the African part of town. The street we took from the Metro stop to our Hotel was literally only hair salons and women getting weaves.. I only wonder what they could do with my hair!
AMSTERDAM
1. New Amsterdam Free Tour
These free tours are fantastic. I've done two here in Berlin and this was my third and you just learn so much more than you ever possible could from anyone else. The guides are young and hip and make the history and culture sound much more interesting than it probably really is. Highlights on the tour: Origins of Dutch-East Indies Trading Co, the "Golden Age", Rembrant, the old Jewish Quarter, hidden Catholic Church, thinnest house in Amsterdam, bikes in Canals, and why pot is legal (decriminalized). Soo neat- I was taking notes the whole time- I'm slowing, but surely turning into Jamie McLean, and half way through the guide asked if I was studying to be a tour guide. :)
2. Meeting up with Phillip and Marie:
Phillip and Marie are the grown children of my host parents. 28 and 24, respectively, they both are studying in Amsterdam. I had met them once before over their spring break when they came to Berlin, but it was great to see them again. Because I have decided that I am now part of their family, we had a great time taking "family portraits" (I'll post one) and talking about "our parents".
3. THE PEOPLE:
everyone in Amsterdam was so incredibly nice. As Regina Spektor sings about it, "Might have been all the tulips and the canals/ or it may have been all that hash". I like to think that it's not just the weed that makes the Dutch so friendly, but with the tulips and the canals, they could not have been nicer. Certainly a nice change from the French.
I hope I provided enough of an outline for you to see what my past week and half has been like! Spring has arrived now in Berin (thank god!) and today I rode my bike for two hours wearing just a sundress- I even went barefoot! I'm so not German in many respects!
Personally, I'm still doing great. I can move into my new apartment any day now, but haven't started packing and am enjoying my last time here with my host parents. Besides the inconvenience of living so darn far away from the city center, I have loved living with Heide and Siggi and will miss them when I go.
Tomorrow night I have invited over a few friends and am making SALMON for everyone. A little shout out to all my Alaskan friends. We'll see if I can get close to how my parents do it.. Yum Yum!
I am really happy here. I know that it is partially the nice weather starting to emerge from the clouds, but I feel more at home here than I have for a while in Alaska or have ever felt in Seattle. I already dread leaving in five months. I miss certain things about both of the cities I call home stateside, but here, I feel intellectually, personally, and spiritually challenged every day. Although I've always been independent, this is the first time I have entered a situation completely alone and without a community or old friends to fall back on. I love and cherish my family and friends in Juneau and the sullivan community at SU (my other family), but this has been nice. Freeing, and nice.
I'll let you go. Hope everyone has a blessed Easter this coming Sunday!
Love love love,
Tess
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